Finding Rhythm in the Chaos

Can I tell you a secret?

I have no idea what I’m doing.

I mean , I do — but sometimes it sure doesn’t feel like it.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been this deep in it, and it’s a bit like revisiting an old script—familiar, yet incomplete. The tools and processes are there, but they’ve shifted in ways I’m still adjusting to.

The good part? Filmmaking has always been about figuring things out on the fly. The learning curve is steep and a little intimidating, but I’m finding my way through, settling back into the flow of things.

It’s chaotic, but what production isn’t? Even the most carefully planned ones have their hiccups. Maybe the real progress is embracing the changes—and finding my rhythm once more.

Finding My Rhythm

The gear’s all here—cameras, lenses, field recorder, mics—everything to get the job done. Premiere and Photoshop feel like second nature, but picking up a camera again feels more like revisiting an old hobby than a mastered skill.

I’m not a DP, Production Sound, or Colorist, but I want to speak their language. For now, I’m experimenting with what I have and pushing myself to learn – DaVinci Resolve, LUTs, After Effects, Audition – Diving deeper, expanding my creative toolbox. Watching other films is sparking new ideas for my own work, helping me refine how I want my shots to feel, frame by frame.

This process is unpredictable but satisfying. Surrendering to it feels like a creative reset, reminding me why I love this work. My writing is embracing its surreal, darkly comic tone more than ever, bringing me a joy I haven’t felt in a long time.

Chaos:  My Creative DMZ

The truth is, I’m still figuring it out.

Filmmaking—and creativity in general —has a way of keeping you on your toes.

There’s always something new to learn, something unexpected to navigate. You can plan, you can prep, but once you’re in the thick of it, things rarely go as expected. The real challenge is learning to embrace the mess, not fight it

Sometimes the best moments come from happy accidents – the unplanned hiccups that force you to adjust and adapt. When things don’t go according to plan, its easy to feel like you’re losing control. But I’ve learned – sometimes the hard way – that staying flexible, often leads to the best outcome. The chaos, instead of something to fear, becomes something to lean into. And that’s where the real magic happens.

Order Through Chaos

Real growth happens when you step outside your comfort zone. Following familiar paths isn’t enough. I want to push boundaries – expand what I can do, and say. My goal is to surprise, to make people laugh and feel uneasy, sometimes all at once.

The surreal, darkly comic tone I’m embracing fuels that disruption. It’s where the absurd meets the serious, where chaos and unpredictability take center stage.  It’s not about making something that everyone will get. It’s about creating something that feels honest to me, even if it’s a little unsettling. And that’s where the real joy lies: finding order through chaos.

Embrace the Mess

This process is messy, but that’s the point. It’s in the chaos that I’m finding my rhythm again—reconnecting with the joy of creation and trusting my voice more than ever.

If you’re on a similar journey—whether in filmmaking or any creative pursuit—embrace the mess. Let go of perfection, trust the process, and most importantly, trust yourself.

I’d love to hear how you’re navigating your own creative chaos—drop a comment below or connect with me on         

Let’s keep the conversation going